I'm having a really bad time with not wanting to do anything. I know we have to just push ourselves and make ourselves at times. I'm failing miserably at that right now.

This is depression. I'm having a tailspin. These episodes are part of my life and always will be. They eventually blow over. That's the good part.

But I feel so stuck, like I'm in quicksand, or got my leg caught in a trap. It seems to me that there is no getting unstuck. For a few days this has gone on, worse each morning.

The main way that I fight despair is to remind myself that I have felt this bad - and even worse - in the past . . . many times . . . and I always managed to recover.

I could use some encouragement. I live alone and mostly stay home because of my fear of COVID. Where I'm located COVID is worsening and expected to peak in 2 weeks. I tell myself to just stay real cautious, at least untill the surge begins to simmer down.

I haven't even finished putting away Xmas stuff. Yesterday I didn't wash a dish. I stay in pajamas.

For some reason, I feel better after the sun goes down.