I am going away again. This is me in classic avoidance mode. I can't afford it, I am supposed to be working, I have many other things to do, I should be visiting my friend to support her, I am on the verge of a disciplinary procedure at work. This is not the time to go away and yet here I go. I feel such dread and heaviness and desolation about life that trying to escape feels essential. I need to buy land. And I need money. You are useless in these regards. I need to marry a millionaire instead of wasting my time with you.