I was cleaning the kitchen just now, but I got overcome by another crying spell. I took Ativan 2 mg just now because it helped me early this morninng. There nothing wrong with having a cry now and then. That's part of life. But I don't want to fall apart and become a mess unable to do anything. That's what happened yesterday. I want to calm down and tidy up my place. That will make me happy.

I do have some motivation to do things. I want to stay in that frame of mind. I miss my family. I 'm alone too much. I want to go be with people, but I'm holding off till the surge subsides.

I like solitude, but this has gone on too long.