I don't know if I've the right words, but I relate quite a bit. I was alexithymic, still have difficulty there. I couldn't go deeper until I felt emotionally safe...and feeling emotionally safe was incredibly difficult. Even topics like work, I didn't want to explore deeper.

My therapist respected and still respects the need to feel emotionally safe even if the client doesn't have words for it, or know that's what they need.

It took years with the same therapist because while I felt painfully empty, I was also really emotionally numb and guarded. She didn't rush me to go deep, she respected my defenses. Said tearing down defenses is irresponsible, they're there to protect. That includes emotional numbing.

It still is tough, although I continue to willingly go deeper to be able to achieve my goals on interpersonal relationships, and my relationship with myself and my System (I've DID).

And I don't believe therapy is the only way, although I've benefitted, as I've seen all kinds of emotional damage a pathologising therapist can do. Or "managed care" with unrealistic expectations.