If I lose my job, will you split your income and pension with me? We don't necessarily need to get married (I know you are already married to that wretched butch lesbian who plays golf); although in many ways this would be the most obvious way to proceed. We could draw up a monthly standing order from your bank account to mine, set at a realistic but generous amount. Alternatively, you could sign over the rights of various assets and investments which you might have, but this seems like it might involve more legal process than marriage or monthly payments. I feel quite flexible about the means and method, but something needs to be done ASAP because I cannot continue working. I am not one of life's natural producers and I don't want to get all Marxist about the matter, but you are a terrible parasite. You need to learn to contribute. It can be a financial gain for me, a personal development quest for you.