Miss Laura, I wish you well no matter what you choose. If you're extremely lucky, maybe you'll manage for a while. If hell breaks loose, which it might, you will hopefully learn from it. Do beware, though, that quitting meds can be a form of Russian Roulette. Some get very hurt or even worse.

As you only recently lost your mother and may not be processing grief in a healthy way, I do fear for you, greatly. My hope is that you WILL take the suggestions of your mental health care professionals. It's my guess that your late mum would want that, too.