He seems to be busying himself right now doing things he has put on his list to keep him in the safe zone. That’s good.
However, it’s not “safe” for me to engage with him. Just now, the dog let me know it needed to go outside, so I went to the back door to let him out and noticed the door was ajar, which is unusual. I then looked out the nearby kitchen window and saw husband walking back towards the house so I figured that he would let the dog back in with him, and I returned to the couch.
Husband comes in, looks into the front room at me on the couch and scoffs, rolls his eyes. I asked what, which he didn’t respond to. I didn’t know what it meant, but moved on.
Ten minutes later husband says “oh boy you really moved away from the window quickly when you saw me” in his weighted tone.
I responded that i let the dog out and saw the door was open and so I looked out the window and saw him there and that was that. And I asked what’s his point though? No response.
I guess he is trying to keep taking my temperature to see how I will respond to him? He wants me back to catering to his thoughts and feelings? He wanted me to wave at him? Acknowledge the yard work he apparently spur of the moment decided to do with a thumbs up? I don’t know??
He just left again to pick up more free stuff on Craigslist for his projects, which gives me a chance to relax without thinking about what he will do next and what I need to be careful about. Although here I am thinking about it.
These small weird interactions feel so weighty.
I really need some peace while I’m healing.
I was thinking about what if he gets a place with a friend. He would be mind blown at that suggestion and I’m surprised I thought of it and felt relaxed. :-( I need a support group for people also dealing with a loved one who is so volatile, and fragile.
I would love to go in person since it’s not good doing online at home. I guess I could sit in my car somewhere with WiFi.

This resonates:
“ it’s a mental health condition with complex symptoms that include a low ability to empathize, diminished self-reflection and insight, and the need for praise and admiration.

People living with the condition often aren’t aware of it. This may make it difficult for them to change those attitudes and behaviors.”