This is how it feels to me and has for a long while. I realized last night that my belief is unconditional love (except hitting me or cheating on me because I was instructed those are deal breakers although my dad did both to my mom).

Ive always found a way to feel compassion for him and understand the way he acts out, but I’m burned out.

I don’t want him turning his behavior towards me anymore. I used to care about how he treated others, but I stopped caring about that. I used to care about how others viewed him, and I stopped caring about that a few years ago.

I have boundaries, but still remain open hearted. He is struggling to be happy with living, and so I feel squished between a rock and a hard place when he acts out towards me. Because .. I want him to feel loved I guess? I’m so accustomed to putting his needs ahead of mine. I have even put his wants ahead of my needs.

My dad was a lot like him, and it was the way I was raised to respond.

Ive always believed this can become a healthy relationship…but am I naive?