I was a little confused about what is bothering you!

If it were me, it would be your husband's comments? But it sounds like you have doubts about yourself? One moment you say you're doing things well but then you say the doctor's confirmation would make you feel better.

I'm losing weight deliberately to "show" my doctor and if the nurse tries to pass the scale, I'm making her stop :-) It sounds like you're trying to hide something from yourself or others but not take responsibility for it? If you close your eyes no one will see?