Hi, captgut!

I remember you

I think some parts of this depend on the country/background. For example I read a lot on here about therapists and clients hugging. That would in my opinion be highly out of order in my country, but if it's the US, I could see it more. That's just from my experience.

I do think that it can be normal for a T to share some personal things over time, if you've seen somebody for 10 years, it would be hard to imagine how not a single time something on their side came up. In those cases, it should be more of an "explanation" though, usually. Like "I had a fight with my wife, so maybe I'm a bit distracted" and not "man, my wife is so annoying sometimes, she just told me to do the dishes before our session!".

I think to me, the part about being on your instagram and posting on social media would be weird. Also, from what I remember from a few years ago, you do struggle with both attachment and your looks, do I remember that right? I'd say especially in that case, the comments regarding how he's attached to you and also about your appearance would be inappropriate or at the very least misguided.

You've been with this T for a while, most of these things sound like they might happen after a while in a relationship, and some of them can be bothersome. I don't think your T is immediately a "dangerous"/bad person because of that, but I think it would be helpful to discuss it with him. After all, therapy is about you and if you feel uncomfortable with some of this, it's fine to say so. I know termination right after that sounds scary, but I don't think it's the likely outcome. And if it were, I think you would be much better off with somebody else in the long run, a lot of growth happens when you can discuss your boundaries with somebody and establish them, to punish that by termination would mean the therapy wasn't too good to begin with probably.