I kept forgetting what to say to my doctor. He's quite dismissive of things when I talk to him.

But he said that I just just CT the atenolol. So I'll stop for 2 weeks and see how I feel.

I might have physical anxiety - But it's a true test to see if I freak out with heart rate. I do want to exercise a bit first?

The problem is that I think about so much ****, hallucinating categories of different thoughts.. I feel like every thing that I do something, I'm procrastinating 100 other things. So far, the organizing of these things have been solved because I wrote them all down.

I will try and look at types of exercise videos (Different body movements) and do that in the kitchen for 20-30 minutes (Like I did while in the independent living unit of the psych ward). 2 weeks of that? Then I'll continue it without the atenolol. Idk.

My baseline of mood has always been much lower than other peoples - So feeling adrenaline would feel bad. I need to lift my mood.. And so exercise could help idk.

I want to be honest with my doctor and tell him about the sleep-wake trance state where heart spasms can happen + Psilocybin and ketamine etc...

I'm constantly self reflecting and learning. I told him that things are good - But I've changed.. Still updating like a computing system.