I can relate to the post-encephalytic patients in the movie Awakenings starring Robin Williams and Robert De Niro. I relate to their brief "awakenings", in the sense that sometimes I will feel like I am starting to come around, but then it goes to the wayside and I go back to feeling unproductive, unmotivated, apathetic, etc. In another word, symptomatic. I wish I were well. Or at least have ways of productively dealing with my symptoms, or coping. *sigh*