
Jan 25, 2022, 10:31 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Nammu, yes - your dream reminds me of those wonderful classics, too. 
GRRRR....I'm so frustrated with my darn psychiatrist (again). Since taking the Gabapentin and Zoloft my anxiety has been so much lower. Manageable. I have been able to live life! But this past week I've had a higher level of anxiety...triggered by the new clinic location & the dumpster cat. But then more things started worrying me. I'm feeling apprehensive and concerned about starting to worry again. And I'm having odd dreams...paranoia. People stalking me, I'm having to hide or run away from a situation during the night so I'm not seen. Disturbing.
So. I called my pdoc's very kind nurse today and asked if I could raise my doses a bit. (The day of my last scheduled appointment, the pdoc had been out sick. My next appt. isn't until Feb. 8th.)
The nurse consulted with that darn doctor, who said she'd like to wait until our appointment to discuss dose changes and that in the meantime I should "practice" my "coping skills."
She means CBT. I keep telling her that CBT is just not very helpful for me. I've worked at it. It helps some situations a tiny bit. But I feel like I'm faking it, that CBT calls upon me to fake it.
Damn it. Ugh.
Well, if the anxiety is still up by Thursday I'll call again and be less polite and more insistent. In the meantime, tonight I'm just trying to remain objective. I've been reading about the history of the French monarchy in the 17th century. So much great art, literature, and music. Puts me in a different world.
Hugs to all
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