Thanks to the both of you.

An update. I have two siblings, to not give too many details I will just call them A and B. A lives in the same country as my parents and is in touch/visits more frequently. B, like me, lives outside of our home country. A initially said they remembered our dad saying something about our uncle but was a bit fuzzy if they had thought he died or was just injured. A said our father mentioned it during a phone call. B and I typically do not call our parents, we use WhatsApp/e-mail. In my case, my mother has outsourced handling the problem child (me) to my dad. So, my dad would have been the one that told me. Occasionally, the family may do a Zoom call. There were two last year, neither had a mention of our uncle.

B said he was also sure he had not heard anything about what happened. He and I both checked back messages and e-mails to see if there was some communication about it, but there was nothing. So, it is pretty clear that neither of us was informed.

I mentioned that I was considering saying something to my dad. A flipped out and said don’t do it, it would open a can of worms, and if I did say something he would probably insist he had told me and B. A tends to be protective of our parents, especially our mom, so I guess this is a new manifestation of that. It seems like A now thinks of themselves as the sibling leader as only one in the same country as our parents. The whole exchange was weird. I guess I will keep the peace and not say anything, although I think I have the right to bring it up with my father.

I was able to connect with my cousin and send my condolences, which she appreciated. She apologized for not telling me and was surprised my dad had not informed me. I told her it was fine. She had no way to know that no one had told me.

I feel like I can’t trust family to keep me in the loop about things any more. I guess I am not alone, B is out of the loop, too.