It's like autism where symptoms can be different for females compared to males - Structural cognitive differences..

I'm lucky that stimulants don't give me psychosis and I wonder if it's my perception towards them.. Like they fit a puzzle in my reality by making me focused - I think a lot of people with them, focus on their paranoia/delusions.

Weed can make me paranoid though because it decreases my focus (But also makes me see things in a different way).

And then I think about Newtus - Wouldn't need a DMT trip. Something about creativity.. being able to channel both worlds (Like you) which I've struggled with.. But me going from the patterned brain to the unpatterned brain.

I was born with high neuroplasticity and it was all suppressed by abuse. The only thing for my brain to eventually do was PRUNE.. Dead neurons!

The Abilify made my impulsivity much worse (Partial dopamine agonist) - It's like my brain was teased with dopamine but not actually getting it?

Idk what I'm talking about nvm.. But if your mind gets worse, maybe a new antipsychotic could be an option.

You're dealing with a lot of stress and grief and with people that have adhd or any mental illness, - stress is the worst thing. Doing healthy balanced things in life is what we all need such as exercise, diet, socialization, meaning, sleep, etc.. all of that stuff.. We are like plants. But we are happy plants.