I don't think you're failing at therapy. Having a baby really changes things. In fact, for me, having a baby is what led me back to therapy after a long hiatus because I struggled so much to cope.

Breastfeeding was difficult for me in the sense that it sort of tethers you to your baby (we couldn't get my daughter to take a bottle for a long time, so pumping didn't work for me either). It can lead to you feeling "touched out," like not wanting anyone else to touch you (certainly not sexually). It also literally burns a lot of energy, so it makes sense that you're hungry all the time.

Try to give yourself more credit--you say you're not doing certain things, like smoking weed, because you're "not allowed." However, I imagine plenty of people resume smoking weed anyway, whether will still breastfeeding (despite the risk), or they may choose to stop breastfeeding so that they can smoke weed (not that there's anything wrong with stopping breastfeeding).

Is there any chance you could have postpartum depression? I struggled with that, along with postpartum anxiety, though didn't fully realize what was going on at the time. It made me reluctant to leave the house, to see people I cared about (friends, family), etc. Even taking a walk around the block with my daughter in a stroller seemed overwhelming at times, let alone, say, going to the store. But I eventually learned that doing those things helped. Of course, we're in a pandemic now, so I completely understand if you might not want to take your baby to public places. And not sure where you live, but where I am, it's 15 degrees right now, so not good for a walk around the block!

But I would consider the possibility of postpartum depression if you haven't. It could be making you feel worse about how you're coping right now than you really are. And your T saying that you're coping well--do *you* think you're coping well? Is it possible you're not being completely honest with your T about everything you're feeling--including possibly regrets about having a baby (it's natural to have those feelings), wishing you could just be alone sometimes, etc.?

I feel like mothers get this message that they're supposed to be overjoyed about having a baby and aren't supposed to think any negative thoughts, let alone share them. But such thoughts are quite common, including when the baby grows into a child--my daughter is 10 now, and this is something I've discussed with my T fairly often. He even admitted to me once that there have been times that he's regretted having his son. So if you've had any thoughts like this, it can help to discuss them, even if you feel guilt about them, like I did. Or maybe not so much regret about becoming a mother, but just missing your old life, when you had less responsibility and could come and go as you pleased. And when you weren't in pain.

For the pain, maybe you're already doing this, but is it possible to get some physical therapy or other treatment for that? You could consult with your OB.

Finally, I'd try talking to your T about alternative coping strategies, things you can do at home. (It's something I've had to do with the pandemic, as some of my strategies were going out places.) Sorry this is so long--hope it helped in some way. Feel free to PM me, too.