Thanks.

I agree some of my beliefs about my former therapist and how I percieved her are based on my projections. I guess I want a therapist who is similar to me in how she lives, what values she has and so on. Even if I agree the therapeutic skills aren´t depending on how the therapist lives per se, to me it´s the wholeness that matters.

I want someone who can relate to me and who I can relate to, it isn´t only the tehcnical skills that matters. I think I´ve believed a little too much in the therapist being able to relate to me when she in fact used techniques to made me feel heard and validated. Which of course is positive and a skill I appreciate in a therapist.

Of course anyone can spend their money on what the like and suits them but my trust in a therapist builds from feeling that she has at least partly a similar life as mine. That means she doesn´t have a lot of money or live in a large and fancy house. For example my former therapist, who this post is about, told me she didn´t have that many friends and she also told me she and her husband couldn´t have kids. To me, such things tells me she can relate to me and my situation.

I understand it´s not all happy and lucky for a person who has a lot of money and a large family but it´s much harder for me to bond with such a person than with a person who lives a similar life as I do.