I don't like re-reading my posts I find them utterly rubbish if I'm honest. I don't think I'm in psychosis. I seem to have a handle on reality and what is and isn't acceptable. I'm rationed enough as I understand the implications of not taking the meds.

I'm just really indecisive this is my biggest problem. I just can't decide what to do for the best my head is telling me one thing but my heart is saying another. My head is over ruling me unfortunately

I know meds are best I just resent them and taking them is making me sick cause deep down I know they aren't for me. I did ask my CPN re life with no meds and she said it is possible but it's all the alternative therapies I would need which would cost me a bomb. I wouldn't get it on the NHS so I would need to pay for it myself which I don't have that kind of money.

I'm arguing the diagnosis again. She says ask my Psychiatrist. I always feel they are holding back on what's wrong with me. I just don't see bipolar in me. I've been reading a book on bipolar and I don't see myself in bipolar 1 (my apparent diagnosis). I speak to my Psychiatrist on the 8th Feb. But I know what he will say you do have bipolar 1.... but why can't I see it?

Bipolar makes me angry as I lost everything with this diagnosis. I just don't know who I am anymore

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