Hi Halliebeth, thanks for reaching out and for your good wishes. Sarahsweets, my son is 27. He works as a software development engineer in the US, which is a serious job, but has problems managing some essential life tasks. Soupe du jour, I'm not sure how deliberate his actions are. I feel like he is creating drama and I keep getting pulled into it. I also don't think it is the adhd itself that leads to him being unable to make an eye doctor appointment. He's always been oppositional to me from when he was a child and I am wondering if he is not able to do this because it is so important to me he gets his eyes checked.

I'm glad your adult nephew was motivated and able to get his medical issue looked into. Now my son is angry at me for asking my sister to help without getting his permission and is sending me endless texts full of swearing and insults, instead of dealing with his issue.

He brought up an old situation from about 8 years ago where he was thousands of miles away at university and called me saying he was thinking of suicide. I called the police where he lived to do a wellness check and he's never forgiven me for doing that, as if it was some great crime i committed. He's comparing my contacting my sister to help him navigate the US medical system to my calling the poolice years ago when he threatened suicide. He says it was wrong because at the time he was being investigated by the police there for a false rape accusation that. a girlfriend made when he broke up with her. He was never charged but the issue dragged out for a long time. He says that's why it was wrong for me to call the police when he threatened suicide, that I have no respect for his privacy or boundaries and that I am abusive for contacting my sister (yesterday) or the police (8 years ago) without his permission.

I feel very destabilized by all this. The constant feeling I have when dealing with the issues my son throws in my face is one of utter helplessness. I mean what am i supposed to do when he calls me to say he can't contact his eye doctor because their phone system isn't responding to his key presses on his phone? I feel like my whole life with him has been going from one impossible situation to the next.