So far my current T doesn’t do or say too many things that I hate. My ex-t was pretty good but over 10 yrs there were a couple that rubbed me the wrong way.

One was that she insisted on using my full name which almost no one does. I don’t sign my emails that way, I don’t introduce myself that way, it just feels weird. In fairness, I don’t think I ever specifically asked her not to. Probably bc she mostly used my name in emails and then I wasn’t thinking about it when we saw each other.

The other was that she said on at least 4 separate occasions that “it is not your child’s job to make you feel like a good parent.” Each time she delivered it like it was some grand piece of wisdom. And each time I experienced it as condescending and judgemental. Like really, what she’d taken from an entire anecdote about me being ready to tear my hair out over some seeming nightmare with my kid boiled down to me feeing narcissistically slighted over his failure to validate me? And I never told her to STFU because I didn’t want to be defensive and wanted to remain open to the possibility that maybe I was using him to validate me? Because obviously I don’t want to do that to my kids.

Anyway. Those are two things I hated.