Can I just say that every single thing you’ve written sounds normal and relatable? Not normal in the sense of don’t worry its no big deal but just… of course people miss their unhealthy coping habits when they give them up! Sometimes the longing for whatever it is goes away with time but sometimes it just doesn’t (which is why people talk about recovering from addiction as an ongoing process).

And babies are tedious. They’re sweet and we love them but they’re tedious and demanding and its so hard when you don’t get regular breaks.

I totally second the recommendation for pelvic physiotherapy and for even tiny intervals of childcare. Even someone to be with the baby while you’re in another room for an hour can be helpful.

Can you also just be nice to yourself about body and weight changes? Like you’ve just made a whole human in your body and continue to nourish him primarily/entirely with your body and we’re in a stupid pandemic and you’re in pain. It’s A LOT. Maybe give your body lots of gentle care and not so much judgement?