Wow - your daughter tells you that you should divorce him, that he is abusive and that she cannot take anymore. Your daughter has told you point blank what is happening and how it's effecting her. If it were me, I would listen to my daughter, and make an exit plan ASAP.

You can love someone, but have limits around how they treat you.

This guy is a mess, he needs a lot of help and in my opinion, you don't need to drag yourself and your daughter through that anymore.

I agree with the poster who had said you've lost yourself.... I mean that in the kindest and most compassionate way, but maybe it's time to think of your own needs, your daughter's needs and take far better care of yourself - you deserve to be treated with respect and loving kindness at all times. And this relationship does not provide that for you.