DoroMona

It's normal to expect a sibling to behave well because we expect more as they're our relatives. It can be very disappointing when they don't behave acceptably and there can be many reasons.

Your post resonated with me on so any levels. My brother (younger) is mother's favourite. Borne out in everything he does or doesn't do. She is unwilling/unable to take issue with him, instead being nasty to me when I suggest he's let her down. The reason, he's produced her one and only grandchild. I'm single too, so this hasn't helped either.

I have nothing in common with my brother either. He's too easily influenced by others, especially his wife. She also interrupts telephone chats. Not that he's spoken to me much in the past 10 years. As for during lockdown, forget it, not a single word or text to see how I am. His wife's unacceptable behaviour towards me 2 years ago and fact she won't apologise just piles on the pressure. He also told me to F-off, only apologising months later rather than picking up phone. So much arrogance!

In my case, as I've got older, I've taken off the blinkers as far as relatives are concerned. Sadly, many close and not so close ones have chosen to believe only one side of the problem. I'm portrayed as the villain until I have the opportunity to speak up. This happened recently when talking to my aunt about the situation. After putting my side, she made a very telling comment, "now I realise it's not all you".

Please don't beat yourself up about your relationship with your brother. There are no laws that we have to get along. Yes, it's upsetting that there will never be a good relationship. You do not have martyr issues, you just want a normal family relationship that seems it's not going to happen. Go about your normal life. Bear in mind that one day, he may need you