Everything felt bad last night, maybe I’m thinking too black and white or catastrophising, but I feel like certain people (mum, maybe sister in law too) are still trying to undermine or control me in subtle ways and it feels like walking on eggshells just thinking about the *exact* right way to respond, which in itself is a red flag. Sometimes it’s ok, other times I get accused of being snappy or bolshy even if I’m actually being calm. Consistency and feeling like I’m being listened to would help immensely. I’m still convinced, like you, that mum (and our relationship) would benefit from counselling, but I know she will never go. It seems worse now I’m trying to move out and have a semblance of a truly independent life for whatever time I might have left. I feel like I’m imagining some of it, though. Nothing I could prove in a court of law, because it’s subtle and occasional. It’s crazy making, all the same.
Sorry for the essay. I’ll see you Monday if nothing changes.