Frankly, I don't see how you even still want a relationship with him when he clearly shows - and has been showing - his disinterest for years.

However, you want this relationship with him. So, I would suggest you speak to him directly. It is not about making him feel guilty or being explosive with him: just be clear, calm and direct rather than playing games (e.g. speaking for 5 mins then moving on, not taking his calls, taking his calls, you are angry but won't express it etc. etc.). Just tell him: you want a relationship but feel he is not showing up. At least then you will know that (1) you have tried and (2) he is (or is not) interested.

Direct communication and honesty beats playing games or going round in circles.