Just wanted to chime in: I haven't had kids, but from what I've read lots of women struggle with similar things. Of course with mental health on top it's even worse. Little sleep, stress, a lot of change in your life, now the pandemic on top... maybe there's a place online similar to this forum for moms? That might help. Also, I've out of interest binge-watched baby-steps on youtube, maybe a podcast like that can help too?