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NOS-NOS
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Member Since Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 235
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Default Jan 28, 2022 at 10:28 PM
 
So I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type in the summer of 2019, right after my divorce. But I noticed many with this diagnosis hear voices or have other hallucinations, I do not. I only have delusions. I was delusional for two years straight until they got my meds right. When I'm in my main delusion I'm very secretive, which makes me difficult to treat. As true delusions are believed to be reality. My delusional structure (which I don't believe anymore btw) is that I have been surveilled via satellite since 2008, and all of my activity is tracked to the minute degree of eye movements and facial expressions. All my audio is logged and my thoughts are recorded and decoded by supercomputers in a remote facility. The information is then disseminated through a large network of conspirators called gangstalkers, whose mission is unknown for sure but I can only deduce that it is to keep me unsteady, to use my insecurities against me, to confuse me, to manipulate me, and to basically make my life hell in the subtlest of ways. I can write a book on everything I went through in my head, not sure how I'm still standing honestly. On top of this I would get "side-delusions" or transient delusional episodes that would last a few days to a week and would either be related or unrelated to my main delusional schema.
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