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Well one major reason why I'm asking these questions is to try and feel the attitudes he has. Because, I need to know what a healthy vs unhealthy relationship FEELS like. It's a long-standing problem in my life that I am working on.
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I think you are already
feeling it. It seems you are trying to rationalise his behaviour i.e. engaging your head when you felt sense is screaming 'this ain't right'...
Otherwise, if you
felt things were okay or this was a good enough relationship, you would not question anything and the answer would be clear. Your doubts, your 'icky' feeling or feeling something is not, or may not, be right -
that is your felt sense. That is the sense alerting you to 'danger'. I would listen to that.