I kinda just blew up at my mom. I think its her fault to be honest. I kept getting very confused with my valium and I was asking her for help and she kept saying I had like 17 extra days when I didn't. So now I'm short and still on 2 a day instead of 3. Which does not work, and I feel a bit woozy and nauseated right now and I'm not sure if its just from the lack of food and sleep I've had today or if its the ativan I took around 3AM and the 2 valium after. But I'm trying to get my zofran refilled since that often helps with my physical side effects of anxiety mainly my nausea and my mom is saying I already got that filled when I didn't and we just like got into this arguement over it. But the pharamcy is contacting the doctor now so hopefully it gets fixed today because my nausea sucks and I'm starting to run out of options on how to deal with all this and If I don't get this figured out soon I'll have to talk to my pdoc on Monday and tell him whats up and I'll have to be really honest with him about whats going on.

I'm wondering if soda is bad for your kidneys because I've had a lot of it for as long as I can go back. For 11 years its been almost daily. But since I switched to zero sugar last year its been about 4 cans a day. But I've always been a huge soda drinker I remember my dad putting Coke in my baby bottle when I was 2 or so.

I'm eating Goldfish crackers right now. They are a comfort food for me but my therapist says me eating them is just creepy behavior. I'm eating the whole grain ones which don't leave a mess on your fingers and have a more subtle cheddar taste then the regular cheddar ones.

I'm at the point where I am a bit concerned about going IP because my anxiety is so bad since I don't have that 3rd valium and the ativan made me feel weird. So I'm just allowing myself a cheat day. But not of just junk food. I just had some peanut butter now. Maybe I'll make some soup in a bit.