Hi BethRags, congratulations on having stable, successful children. The challenge I have with my son is when he goes down a rabbit hole and comes to absurd conclusions and doesn't listen. I've gone down such a spiral a number of times with my son over the years. It reminds me of the temper tantrums he used to have as a child an my inability to console him. I think it's driven by both of our anxieties.

I'm glad he did follow through and make an appointment. That is progress. But it was like pulling teeth and I really do wonder sometimes at what point will he finally grow up and be able to completely manage his own life.

One of my supports where I live is an older guy who is an AA mentor I met by happenstance. He has counseled a lot of people over the years. We've continued to text for about 5 years and he's been really helpful to me. Except yesterday when I told him my sister and I helped my son to make his eye doctor appointment he texted back "It is inexcusable that an adult requires the help of two females at opposite ends of the continent to help him make a doctor's appointment. All three of you need to make some changes."

I wrote back that this message seemed judgmental and asked him why he used the word 'inexcusable'. I didn't get any answer except he didn't know how to respond to that. It's not the kind of support I am needing right now. I don't know why he feels the need to judge me and my family and put us down. He lost his own son to suicide many years ago and I am wondering if he was also putting his own son down while he was alive.

So now I'm thinking this relationship is also finished. I don't want his negative judgments. I was looking for support.