Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
I think you are blurring the lines between behavior that is caused by mental illness, and behavior that is abusive. Abusive behavior is typically a deliberate means of wearing down the other's sense of self, self-esteem and self worth through repeated acts of disrespect, disregard, dismissiveness and put downs. Mental illness does not cause such behavior. Abusive traits do. And your partner has abusive traits. If he is not bi-polar and has cptsd and depression, that will certainly not reflect itself or manifest as abusive behaviors. Nor will bi-polar. Abuse is abuse. Abusers disregard, deflect and disrespect, and they are not held accountable. And your partner is abusive.
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Thank you, this helps. I struggle identifying that line. He does have abusive traits, no doubt. He also has irritability, thinking errors, can be extremely stubborn, dominating, impulsive, addictive, obsessive, self destructive, moody. he has a very hard time managing life. He is at a kids level in ways. He can be these ways one minute, and then laughing and carrying on the next minute. reactive. I know he can’t control all that and if he ever sees it, it’s way after the fact. He can make a poor decision with consequences and still find a way to romance it.
I’m trying to fix my thinking. I have to understand things because I’m so conflicted. I can and will take action, but..my reasoning and feelings are the fence.
I’m his mother, but can’t tell him what to do. He’s soft with his mom though.