I got attached to my current T (Dr. T) pretty quickly. It did cause some issues/conflict in the beginning. He didn't seem to understand my attachment or why it happened as quickly as it did. An example is from when he was going out of town maybe a few months into my seeing him, and I struggled with it. He didn't seem to get it and said later that it was because I hadn't been seeing him for that long. So he didn't understand how I could miss him.

And of course there's the infamous stone story, where he thought it was "weird" or "creepy" if holding the stone *that he gave me as a transitional object* comforted me if it was that I associated with him in particular vs. the therapy space in general.

It all felt very rejecting and a bit shaming, which is bad for someone who has anxious/insecure attachment already. So then I just tried not talking about it, but then it would become apparent in other ways. Like when I emailed him while he was away to make sure he was still alive, and he thought I was joking around, so responded in kind, like "You're too funny. No, I haven't been eaten by a lion or a bear." That led to a bit of a rupture.

As I'm typing all this, I'm thinking to myself: Why did I stay with this T? (Was I replaying/reenacting something from my past, like with my father, say?) I mean, I did terminate for a little bit a few months after that following a couple other ruptures. But I went back because I just had this feeling like he could still help me. Apparently I was right because he has.

He's completely changed how he is regarding attachment (at least how he is to me about it). I'm not sure if it's from working with me specifically (my explaining it, seeing how I reacted to things, etc.), from doing further research/consulting about it, from the amount of time he's seen me, and/or some shift in him personally, perhaps as a result of the pandemic (he's seemed much more empathetic and warm since it started).

Anyway, I'm rambling. Have you talked to your Art T about this at all? How does she seem to be about attachment in general? Despite some of my experiences with Dr. T, I still think talking through it can be the best way to go. In my experience, trying to avoid talking about attachment or hiding how attached you feel can actually make it more intense (my experience with ex-MC at one point). So maybe try talking about it with her?