My subsidized rent went up 206 and now my medical is going up 170. I did get a raise but dang not that much.

I applied for a mortgage. Because heck if my rent is so high I should just buy a place. my credit went up 45 points. So it's almost in my pre 3rd husband range.

I've been approved but I'm basically a broke person applying for a mortgage feeling a bit foolish but I've got 10k in downpayment assistance. Feel like I should push through and make it happen somehow. Thoughts? I've had 3 dreams that basically tell me not to buy right now I think.

dreams:
jumping off 100 foot cliff into calm water, trying not to take a deeply desired deep breathe or I'd drown. sinking trying to reach the bottom so I can push myself up. but the bottom is too far so I start swimming up still holding my breath I see the light but it's far off end of dream 1

dream 2 a guy is buried in an avalanche another guy is trying to dig him out. the first guy is trying to stay alive. dream 2 ends

dream 3 a black cat flashes into my brain.

I did say no to first mortgage requiring closing costs of over 12k. no dreams since. new mortgage pays 10k towards down payment and closing costs. Feel like it's an opportunity. If I get a 2 bedroom I can rent out 1 room and make everything more affordable. My brother says stay put, my mother says move in with her, I say undecided.