Hi. I've had a lot of difficult and painful things on my mind today and lately. This might be related to PMS/PMDD, some.

Also, I'm getting minimal support from a place, for my job search. It keeps coming out of me, there, that I am very afraid of working, because of the bad experiences I have had working long ago, and also my anxiety. I expressed, today, that my therapist might not be equipped enough to help with this. It is so scary to not have her be my therapist. I think I'm pretty attached to her as my therapist. But its possible that its true - that she is no longer a good fit because she might not be able to help me with these issues in the way I need. I'm going to be talking to her about all this tomorrow.

Its also entirely possible that I am not actually ready to work. The woman who was helping to me today kind of implied this, because she gave the option to me, to take a break from them. It seemed to come out of nowhere. But maybe that was her assessment. She put it in my court. And I will let them know next time I see them.

Its not where my mind was, to stop my job search and just get help. So I have to let it sink in, and then I will consider. I am really unenthusiastic about my job search. I do have a phone screening / interview on Thursday, for a job I wanted last year. I am pretty lackluster about it now.

I just started watching Making It, that Amy Poehler crafting show. It's funny, and neat so far, what the crafters are making. I'm eating dinner, and ice cream. I'm totally not going over to my parents house. Too cold, plus their fighting just upsets me.