Dear T,

Thank you. I feel quite emotional in a teary way right now. I think that's the tiredness and the sadness and the fighting's way of saying 'ok, let's do this'. I understand why you didn't lay the room out like that before, but I am so very glad you felt able to for me, because finally it feels like there might be room, and that feels good. So good. Thank you.

I wonder if you realise there is a HUGE difference for me between knowing something and understanding it. I know all of what we talked about, but I am not sure I will ever actually understand it, the nuances of it, how is actually supposed to work. The therapeutic relationship really is the strangest relationship I can think of, and for someone who has only recently started to develop normal relationships, personally I think this one is beyond me. It is what is though, for each different pair of people that work together, and I guess we just have to hope that whatever it is and whatever it becomes for us, it can help to facilitate 'the work'.