I know how you feel. I did it all the time and I look like I've faught with ten lions...

I eventually got SERIOUS help- was put in hospital and they kpt me from doing it- I guess I saw the light and haven't done it for a few months... Doesn't change the fact that I love it, too. I have serious urges but then go out for a walk or something- are you sleeping ok? Lack of sleep triggers me badly.

You're not alone!