Your comment of "counsellors can't care in the same way as close friends or family do" doesn't make any sense to me. I don't feel as if any of my family care about me and I certainly don't open up to them about anything remotely personal. I have only started to open up to friends a small amount in the last year of my life, really, and I'm not sure I would say I feel they care about me. I'm not sure I get what it even looks/feels like. Maybe that's worth a discussion? Maybe it's there but I just can't see it. I think my OH cares about me, but yet still I shut down around him when things get tough. We are actively working on changing that, and he is very good. Like last night he even paused the TV to try and help me to talk to him. But like with all things, it takes time.

So yeah, your comment about "you" not being able to care in the same way as friends and family doesn't make sense to me. J and then K were the first two people I ever thought genuinely did care, and I needed that at the time. I believe that everyone needs to feel cared about by someone, at some point in their lives, in order for them to be the whole at person they can be. And for me, that needed to be someone like a counsellor, because it sure as hell wasn't going to be my family or my husband, and without counselling I never would have had any friends.

I think we need to talk some more about this at some point...