I seem to be posting too much here and I apologize.

Things are cold and snowy today, so my SAD is acting up which makes my anxiety worse. Additionally, I'm trying to move my diet in a better direction after several months of eating poorly. So, I'm dealing with GI issues related to the Prozac and the new diet and that causes my health anxiety to spike. Then the adrenaline from the anxiety messes with my guts and it all spirals. So, pretty sure I'm dying but as I mentioned last post, part of me still wants to survive, and a part of me wants to die, but not like this. Quick and painless please. I think the universe needs to recall my brain, it's broken or at least mostly defective. Later I'll have my little mirror self-talk conversation about how I'm pretty likely to live through today, as that's all I can count on. Tomorrow? Who knows? Maybe the universe will send that meteor through my roof tonight. <crossing fingers>