24 days today. I have to be able to make it longer than this.


I'm having massive urges today. Cravings. To do serious damage to myself. Sigh.


I'm currently contracted with my T so technically I can't do anything. I'm not sure if contracting is making it worse by keeping me focused on it or if contracting is actually making me safer.


I'm not sure what if any I should tell my T. I don't want her to push the hospitalize button. I don't want to be hospitalized. It would also jeopardize my place in aftercare if they found out. I don't want to lose that.