I understand forgiveness is for the forgiver. In my opinion it is not a decision to make ,it has to come naturally.It all depends on the duration and intensity of the hurt.It also depends on how close the perp is to the victim.One cannot just wake up from sleep one fine morning and forgive someone.After accepting that the experiences are real and it was abuse,the painful process of trying to heal begins.Its like layers of an onion.I just scratched the skin.More to peel .Maybe one day forgiveness comes naturally to me.I tried to know why...why the abuse happened? I couldn't find any reason. It's a mystery. What has happened with me, I will never be able to wrap my head around it all