I think rational thinking can go straight out of the window when you are dealing with inner child work, which it sounds like you are, even if you aren't, if that makes sense. These old wounds and neural pathways are so deeply rooted that it can take a lot to learn to change/bypass them. Honestly, don't beat yourself up. We have all been there, sometimes MANY times!! It's good to talk hear about it though because people who aren't in the same space as you might be able to help, in some way. I hope when you talk about it with her it is productive, andost importantly that it is healing for you. Lots of ruptures and repairs are needed I think, they were for me at least.