Lowering your expectations when it comes to family members can be difficult. I have actually found it easier to just cut off almost all contact with my brother who bullied me growing up. Talking to him makes me feel worse, so I just avoid doing it.

With my mom, it is a bit more challenging, because of how her mood changes due to the bipolar. At times she can be incredibly mean. Then the next minute she is apologizing for the past. But it can be exhausting to keep up with. I just limit contact with my family of origin as much as possible at this point. It does help that I don't live in the same state.