Hi DAL, I can definitely lower my expectations. Thanks for reading and responding to my thread. I literally need this place for support, when life stuff like this affects me so negatively. I appreciate your input.

I definitely want to cut my sister and her family off now. The only two members of her family that are innocent in this are her two sons who are in high school who are definitely very genuine and kind souls. I will miss them for sure, when I finally find the strength to walk away. I have a feeling it will definitely happen when our mother passes away at some point.

My sister and I had a huge blowout argument about who is going to control what with our mother's estate and will and funeral arrangements. Even though my sister claims I get to be the one who plans the funeral, I don't believe her for a second. I expect to be ambushed, undermined, and sabotaged by my sister when that day of our mother's funeral takes place. The other shoe that drops, so to speak.

After that, we will definitely become complete strangers and never speak again. I already know that is going to happen, b/c I can sense it is the natural progression of our toxic sisterhood with each other.

I am sorry that you experienced narcissism with your brother who bullied you and with your own mother too. That took great inner strength on your part to walk away from your brother and that you limit contact with your family of origin by moving to a different state.

Do people judge you when you tell them you're not close with your family? I guess I need to get over that imagined judgement. If people genuinely like me, they wouldn't care that I was not in contact with my sister anymore for my own mental health and well-being. Since keeping her in my life has proven to be disastrous for my socially. I mean, she disparages me to everyone I introduce her to. It has to be better if I just meet people and tell them that I am not close to my family and not elaborate why (because it's no one's business, correct?).

I would love to do that too - move away to another state and just be geographically distanced b/c that would make it easier to stop contacting my sister and her children. Clearly, my sister does not want me in her life so I guess the issue is that I am the one who is struggling to let go of what I imagined vs. what the harsh reality is where our relationship is concerned.

I am supposed to dogsit for my sister while she takes her family to Florida for spring break the end of March. I think I need to find the strength to tell my sister "no, find someone else to dogsit." That is a boundary, isn't it?

This is just stressful.I am mad that I have wasted so much time and energy on trying to repair my relationship with my sister when she has not made any effort herself. She could care less!