My Support Forums - View Single Post - It shows how different my sister and I are from each other

sarahsweets · Feb 05, 2022, 05:49 AM

Hey @Motts: I cant quite relate specifically to ongoing sibling issues but I had some thoughts.
Re: the books, were they books with maps and suggestions of places to go or eat? Were they the kind of travel books that pack hints in them about how to avoid being taken as a tourist and all the hidden gems to see like a local? Not that it matters mind you but I was wondering if it was possible that she read them ahead of time (although based on what you say thats probably BS) but I was just thinking. All of the history aside between you and your sister- from when you were little until now- have you ever directly said something like " We dont get along and I want to know why. I want you to just tell me the truth. Please join me for a therapy session to see if any of this can be fixed" Or if the therapy thing isnt your style you can be more harsh..." I feel like I am unloved and unliked by you and your family. I dont need any excuses about how its just me and my issues. I want you to honestly tell me all of it- every stinkin thing that puts you in the head space you seem to be in around me". Then say you will listen without interrupting and when she is done you will respond. Or a step further- come up with an expectation that works for you as what you expect but is also a boundary. Tell her the consequences of crossing or violating that boundary and stick with it.
Hey @Motts I hope you understand that when I put myself in quotes its not because I think you need to say what I say, its just easier to make my point.

First off I do not think any gifts for any reason should be exchanged anymore. No Bday, holidays, nothing. There is more to life than material goods and you will know more about their interest in your life once the check book is closed. Does any of that make sense?

I make no bones about my own boundaries now. I now have the holidays with just my mom, brother and my own family. We couldnt take the racist hate from that side so we made the choice and now I love the holidays. I also regularly purge my Facebook. I only have good friends and family (I do not have issues with social media but some do) as friends and politics helped me ditch about 1/4 and then I go through them and delete them if I havent spoken to them or wouldnt go have lunch with them. Anyhow sorry to hijack.