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Originally Posted by rdgrad15
Yeah you have some good points, I do agree that opening up can push a relationship or friendship into further closeness or it can backfire which could explain why people may be reluctant to reveal their most intimate struggles.
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I mean, there's lots of kinds of friends. At some point the general categories will fail. So, just because it's called a close friendship, it doesn't mean it's actually emotionally all that intimate. Doesn't mean it has to be, either. Same for romantic relationships.
Strictly my own view on things, of course.
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Also, when I say opening up, I mean letting out your true emotions and thoughts and even getting emotional at times. I don't mean opening up in a whiny way but still showing a very vulnerable side of you that the person you're with may or may not have ever seen in you which can be risky.
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Well I don't know what kind of true emotions and thoughts these would be and what the purpose of the sharing/opening up would be. ? Did you have anything in mind with that?
AIso I noticed you mentioned "getting emotional" as a separate thing. When you let out true emotions&thoughts, that's already being emotional in my view, that action already has emotional messages and further emotional consequences in the relationship for all parties involved.
If you meant getting impulsive, then I get what you mean.
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Also I agree that most likely no one is truly attached to their coworkers and coworkers who call each other friends are doing it out of politeness and it's all superficial, I actually find it really cringy and unprofessional when I see coworkers reveal their vulnerabilities at work but that's just me.
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I don't think they are necessarily doing it out of politeness. I personally think it sounds wrong to call someone a friend purely out of politeness actually. What I was thinking was that some coworkers can be superficial buddies alright and share a lot - or seemingly a lot - without it meaning all that much.
It's like. On a more extreme level, if that makes it easier to imagine. Some people are emotionally shallow enough to actually think that they have a deeper relationship to these people that they are so easily feeling like sharing with, than what it is in reality. Of course if someone thinks that to a distorted degree, we'd be talking about a personality disorder already, and I wasn't intending to take this post towards pathological stuff. It was just for a strong enough illustration of what I originally meant.
I'm interested if you don't mind; what kind of vulnerabilities have you seen coworkers reveal to each other like that, do you have a good actual example?