That question about judgment is interesting Motts. At times I have felt judged for not being close to my family of origin.

When I first moved to another state, I wanted to work with children, so I signed up to be a Big Sister with Big Brothers, Big Sisters. They asked for references and did a criminal background check and an interview (all of which I support. I understand that they do not want people who may harm the children). But the interview completely blindsided me because it was all about my relationship with my family of origin. They specifically asked me about my relationship with each parent and sibling. They seemed disappointed when I said I didn't talk to any of them much.

In the end, I somehow failed the interview, because they told me that I was not selected as a volunteer. They also said that it was their policy never to to tell people why they were not selected, so I was left to wonder. I know for a fact my criminal background check was fine. So I really think it came down to the interview and that they felt someone who is not close to family of origin should not be around children. That was one of the most hurtful experiences of my life, especially because at that point I was considering adopting children (I don't want to pass on my genes, so do not want biological children). But hearing that they don't trust me to spend one hour a week with a child pretty much dashed my hopes that I would ever be selected as an adoptive parent.

I suppose this is hardly reassuring, but I do think there needs to be a shift in the mindset that people should be close to those they are biologically related to.