Thank you all for your responses. I am really going to work hard on forgiving myself.
I never considered that the fact that I feel so badly about what I did makes me a caring, loving person who had no evil, malicious intent!!!
You all are so wonderful. Thank you for the responses. I guess I just was afraid that everyone would think I am sick or something. Thanks for not thinking that way!
BJ
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." 
Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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