I never had one retire, but with two of them I knew in advance we'd be ending. The first was because the service was through the university and I'd be moving on. The second was because he took a new position in another state, so he'd be moving on.

In both cases, I wasn't quick to jump into therapy with a new therapist. I actually took some time off from therapy, and for me, that was a good plan. It gave me time to see where I was at without therapy. I was actually surprisingly okay without therapy in both cases for a fairly long time (years). I didn't fall apart. I didn't go into mourning for them. I was sort of surprised about that, but I think it showed me I had more resilience than I gave myself credit for.

Eventually I felt the need to return each time, and the benefit of some "space" was that when I started up again, it felt like a fresh start. It didn't feel like I was rehashing all the same stuff again - I was in a different place. I also didn't really compare my new therapists to my old therapists because of that "space."

When I ended therapist this last time, we both knew it was coming. I was progressively more stable, and I was finding therapy much less necessary. We honestly just stopped without any big to-do. In fact, I didn't know my last session was my last session until I decided afterward that it was my last session.

I still keep in touch with my old therapists - particularly the most recent - not so much the other two very often anymore, but occasionally. By "in touch" I mean we Facebook, we occasionally message or even talk on the phone - particularly in this last year while my husband was so ill - they did check up on me from time to time which I appreciated. But it isn't therapy - it's more like old friends who just check in with each other from time to time.

I know I could call up my last therapist and start seeing him as a client at any point, and it has crossed my mind since my husband's death, but so far I have found my ability to manage through this crisis and change has been pretty strong, and I'm okay with that. I'm not really in need of a therapist - just grief support from a very informal group.

I guess there is not necessarily a rush to start with a new therapist right away unless you are feeling particularly unable to cope. Sometimes taking your time to reset can be helpful.