Were you expecting her to change?? Were you expecting her to be more nurturing??Were you in need of some closure regarding her behaviour towards you?? Hanging on to hope that she will come clean one day and then realizing it will never gonna happen ,now that the person is gone forever brings a lot of grief. I am so sorry.
I would like to get some closure from my mother,before she dies,I also know it may not happen.I am already grieving. By the time she meets her maker,I can be stoic .By any chance if I get a deathbed apology that will come as surprise to me.Hope I am making sense.Hugs.