I think you're being intentionally obtuse about what I said. How am I supposed to interpret such disinterest other than to assume you don't place any value on the things at stake, even professionally? You wouldn't have responded that way if it made a difference to you either way.

I'm not asking for any extraordinary show of caring and concern. You should give a **** as the therapist I hired but for some reason, you were unable or unwilling to do so.

I wish I could say I didn't expect better from you, but that would be a lie. I'm angry with you for disappointing me but I'm even angrier at myself for having expectations that could be disappointed.

I could probably email Dr. S and she would respond to me about my concerns. Only I feel like psychiatrists are sometimes over-dramatic in their responses and a hospital stay would not actually help me. Medication isn't helping me either, so it's not like putting me in a holding pen would work until treatment has time to be effective.

Don't really know where this leaves me in relation to therapy. That's why I sent the response that I did. It's not like I can just save what is happening to deal with on Thursday. You can, of course, because it's not happening to you. But I'm not going to collude with you in acting like wanting to die is an acceptable way for me to plan to spend the next 5 days until you have time for it. I mean, really, wtf. Saying that I didn't know how to respond was the best I could do. Tbh I didn't want to respond at all but that felt passive aggressive.